2011...already?

I woke up this morning, feeling pretty good about life. After all, it's January 1, 2011.
2011...already? Father in Heaven, where has the time gone? As I lay there recollecting on the previous festivities, I asked God to reveal to me what He would want for me to do with this new year. Then it hit me. I remembered the depressive moment that hit just a couple of days ago. You see, I'm 40 years old, married to the man of my dreams, we have 5 beautiful healthy children and I'm weigh over my limit. At that time, a couple of days ago, I weighed 184.6 pounds. At 5'2", that's weigh over the "suggested" weight limits. I'm for certain that I've fallen into the obese category being since in the 170's I was borderline. I hit bottom. I felt terrible, my stomach hurt all the time and I couldn't even ride in a car without get carsick. At bedtime I was so thirsty but I wouldn't or should I say couldn't drink any water because I didn't think my stomach could hold one more ounce of anything! Yikes, talk about hitting bottom! I mean really?!? I'm so stuffed that I can't even drink some water...and I'm really thirsty?!? What an awful feeling. I begged my husband to pray for me, because I was so overwhelmed and I felt myself slipping into the dark abyss of nothingness, angry visions, and just unwarrented sadness...
That was a few nights ago, and today, My God has breathed new life into me and given me hope! A hope that I will someday be free of this addiction...to food.
You see, I live and breathe food. Sounds insane, but I probably think about food just as many times it has been quoted that men think about something sexual-which, if my memory serves me well, is about every 3-5 seconds. My thoughts are oversaturated with food. I find myself constantly thinking about it. Most important to me was, when can I eat again?
Start a blog! Start a blog? Yes, start a blog for the whole world to read and to share your journey with you. Your journey to freedom. For where 2 or 3 are gathered in my name, there I am in their midst. (Matt 18:20) For you see, it won't be me ridding myself of this addiction, but the Lord our God. I've tried several times on my own to do this. Maybe it worked for a while, but I'd always surrender to my temptation. Like a redcovering drug or alcohol addict, it's as if I can't even have a taste of food, for my indulgence gets the best of me, and I can't stop until I'm miserable.
One of the primary components to beating an addiction is by not participating in the act, but how is one not to participate in the act of eating? Don't we have to eat to survive? Good thing I'm not in charge of this feat, God is.
Thank you Father God for the many blessings you have bestowed on me and my family. I ask for your guidance as I embark on this journey you have placed on my heart. I ask special blessings for those closest to me that will be traveling along and for those who travel with me whom I do not even know. Thank you Jesus. I love you, Amen.